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22 September 2005 @ 04:58 pm
guys suck.  

update time.   granted, not a happy upbeat update this time around.


so i'm not completely sure of how things are between jeff and myself.   its horrible.    seriously.    i want to leave so bad at times and others i don't.   its just all in how he acts towards me.  i hate it.  hell, i hate everything.     its depressing.    really,   depressing.  it feels like we do so good for awhile and then shit happens and its back to square one of the bad shit.    i don't know anymore and i hate saying that and knowing i don't know where the hell we stand anymore.    i love jeff.   i made vows to him that i don't want to break, but he gets me to that point so much.......    argh.

my job is going good. amazingly enough its not the root of any of our problems this time around (as it has been in the past with previous jobs) i haven't brought home work once since i started at ryan's.      amber (from walgreens) started today at ryan's.   i got her the job and i get a $50 giftcard to wally world for getting her to come in and apply.  its all in good sayings though because she wanted a new part time job that would cooperate with her schedule in college.    they've agreed to work aroudn her classes and whatnot at ryans. she's going to be a server....   i'm still happy about it all because now, i'll be able to become more of a friend to her and i at least knwo there is someone other than brian over here thats my friend and i can hangout with.

speaking of friends... my search for josh d. is over.     as of tuesday night on the way home from mom & dads.    desi and i made a trip thru sylva in hopes that he'd be hanging out somewhere or one of his friends would be so i could at least get his number or something.  for those of you who aren't familiar with josh d. he was one of my best friends and somewhat a brother to me back at mom and dads... i knew him for a year before jeff & i met.   i have been looking for him for over a year now trying to get back in touch with him and i never gave up... so it goes to show you to never give up on things because when it seems liek all light is gone there's still a spark left somewhere.    so i'm happy that i got to see him again, we exchanged numbers and he got to see desi.    at least i know when all else fails i have a few true friends to rely on.    i told him next time i come back for the weekend we'll have to get together and just hangout like the old times.... i missed him so much as i did nessy.    which he gave her my number!  so i called her yesterday and talked to her for give or take 15 mins.....  its always great to catch up with old friends :)

so besides the deal with jeff....  everything else has been fairly good.    i just wish we could both be happy forever.  or at least longer than a week.    argh.

i'm sure y'all heard baout britney's baby boy, sean... i think thats the name they decided on.. i never cared much for her, but now she portrays a real person more than jessica or lindsay.. any of the pop singers today.   she's a mother now, and thats about as real as you can get.....    i know it;ll change her in so many ways.. i'm glad everything went good and everyone's alright though....   i know soemtimes thigns don't go as planned and stuff happens....    yea, i know.. i was concerned about a celeb.     ah well.   she's a person now too... always has been.....


Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: whatever jeff's watching on tv and its not music.
taintedangel83taintedangel83 on September 22nd, 2005 04:09 pm (UTC)
Hey Krys,

Sorry I've been out of touch. In-laws always butting in and snooping like usual. I try to lay low on here as well as possible. If you need to vent or anything about marriage woes, just email me deansgirl81702@aol.com It never really is as pretty and flaw-less as everyone else makes it up to be that's for sure. Why Jerry and I have gone once or twice where we just couldn't stand to be around eachother for a whole month. We'd just talk like "Hey.....goodnight....going to work love you." It's tough after the first few months and marriage is a constant up-hill battle; always working to make it stronger and when it's strong you gotta work twice or three times as hard just to keep it strong. Just IM me or email me whenever you need. I know we've never been trully tight but I can be pen pal and ear to talk to if you need.